Late Nights & Early Mornings. #3

Hi all!

This is the part where I tell you all kinds of excuses of why I have not been active the past weeks. Also, this is also the part where I promise you that I will never bail out on you guys again, that I will never let anything become a hindrance between our blogger-reader relationship, that I will become more committed to this blog. After all, I call myself a blogger. Writing should be my thread. Right?

However, I am not going to do that as I find no real reason for my absence, aside from procrastination and not knowing what to actually write about. Of course, that is inexcusable. So there is no way I am going to be all mushy and such on here.

Anyway, today is the 17th of April, exactly 2:04am. And yes, you’re correct. This post is yet another installment to my growing list of blog posts that are not brightly titled, as I am too dumb (and/or lazy) to think of appropriate titles. What pushed me to write today, actually, is the book that I have finished reading last week. It’s called Sarah’s Key and it was written by Tatiana de Rosnay, published last 2007.

The book was perfectly decent, if I may be bold. It was not the absolute thrilling type, but at the same time, it was not boring to read. The story contained just enough excitement for the reader to keep on reading, not unless it’s the genre the reader was really looking for. The story, as it was built up around historical facts, was also educational. I was never the one who really read every single chapter of my history book back in high school, so knowing all these facts about the Holocaust in Paris really moved me, as well as inspired me to write on here. What’s cooler about it was how history was incorporated into a handful of smart and twisting creativity. Indeed, a job well done!

An hour ago, I have seen the film adaptation of this novel and, I must say, my expectations were not really met. I want to think that it’s only because I expected too much from it, but then I think not. As I read some reviews of the film on Rotten Tomatoes (Sarah’s Key’s page), I figured that it was not just me who had noticed plot problems in the film. Since I have read the book before I watched the film, I knew beforehand what was going to happen. What took me aback was the fact that they actually took out and/or edited a lot of parts of the novel that I believe were very vital parts of the story. They may not entirely be considered as the “back bone” of the story, and this editing of the story line has been a very active part of the film-making industry, I still firmly believe that with their strategy, they took away the vividness and the strength of the film.

With all that said, I give to you the final judgment of RT on the film.

That bar (or Tomatometer) actually made me believe that 73% was a good rating. Until I saw the movie…and the note under the 73%. 6.4 out of 10. Not a bad movie, because it went beyond 5; which I think was because of Kristin Scott Thomas and Mélusine Mayance’s very good acting.

So, are you interested to see the movie? My blog post’s intention was NOT to discourage you to ever see the film. It was just my opinion. Anyway, if you here, here goes the link of the movie’s free online streaming. I hope you find it more interesting than I did.

Related articles

• SARAH’S KEY by Tatiana de Rosnay (nessamorris.com)
• Possible Discussion Questions for Sarah’s Key (allbooksclub.wordpress.com)
• What I’m Reading: Sarah’s Key (karaschatter.com)
• Sarah’s Key (smallscreenreviews.com)

This Too Shall Pass

Hey guys. It’s me again, Jess, now in California. Holla!

That is basically how I was like last Friday night (Manila time) before we headed to the immigration of Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Well of course, I wasn’t as pretty as this baby girl, and I will never be, but I was literally crying my heart out. That moment right there was just too heartbreaking. John and I hugged our family for the last time that night and bid farewell. The airport was flooded with tears, pieces of broken hearts, and hopes and promises of coming back…  I basically did not want to let go of my sister when I hugged her but I knew I had to. I knew I had to be the bigger person so it was me who told my brother that we should go and get inside.

The flight, in general, was fine. The temperature ran from really warm, to warm, to cold, to really cold, to really really really cold, and it really did bother me. But meeeeep, whatevs. The flight was 12-hours long and it got my abdomen hurt as if I was having my period. Perhaps because I wasn’t able to go to the lavatory as often as I wanted to because the older man sitting n our row by the aisle slept for a long time! Good thing Philippine Airlines was packed with loads of good music, movies and more, hence I was able to contain my boredom.

Ever since I got here, everything seems to be like…temporary and painful. Not painful but temporary (because that, I think, is easier) and not painfully temporary (because I absolutely don’t know how could that be relevant to my current state of emotion).

Temporary and painful because I have realized, although I have always known, that nothing lasts forever. Yes, it is a universal fact, but you’re never going to realize it unless someone points it out to you, or worse, when you go through that certain process yourself. And I have been there before when I was too young to ever feel so many emotions. My father passed away when I was 6 years old, and I only cried at his wake once, when all the people were gone and I was the only one left sitting on the first pew, staring at his casket. I know I told him a lot of stuff that night while I was crying, but it took a long while (we’re probably talking about years here, ladies and gents) before I felt the hardship of not having a father figure in your life. But in this case, I figured, not even those people who are still living on this planet can be with you forever, or at least however long you want them to be with you. It’s not just Death who ends your relationships. They can always come and go into your life during the times you least expect them to, even if it wasn’t your decision, even if it wasn’t theirs. Sometimes, Fate likes to play the game as well.

I guess the last months I had back in Manila were not spent to its full potential. It  was not maximized but I don’t blame no one. We were all probably just hopeful that the move wasn’t going to happen, or if it would, it wouldn’t bring so much pain to everybody else. We probably underestimated Fate.

So basically, I’ve been living here for four days and the experience has already been challenging, to say the least. And no, darling. I am not going to stay here for a week, because I am going to have to live here for more than that before I could go back to the Philippines. Say, 2 years. In 2 years, with all work done and still some more in process, we can probably go back to Manila for a vacation. Or who knows? If we’re all set and ready, we could even stay there for a bit longer. But for now, the best thing I can do is wait. Wait for the right moment, and the right time. Wait until I stop counting the days that I am spending here and actually start living for today and tomorrow, since that is basically what I am NOT doing.

30th of 30

The last day of the countdown has come, and my heart is still wishing for some magic to happen. Which is weird. See, I checked out the countdown on my blog and I saw the number 4. In my mind I was like, “my blog seems to tell me otherwise. Oh well, at least there’s someTHING out there who doesn’t want me to go just yet.”

I seriously thought it said 4 days.

Then I realized, I put the wrong time on the countdown widget. So I decided to edit it and here’s the updated screencap of it:

Now I have 15 hours left until 5pm here, the time we’re going to the airport.

I feel so stupid about that 4 hours thing. Haha!

So this is it. The final hours of my life here and it’s just sad. Everyone here feels sad, I can see that. Even my dog is unusually quiet. She doesn’t even want to be near me. Marco has been unusually silent too. He rarely talks to us anymore. I don’t know. Maybe it’s their way of coping up since we’re going to have to be away from them for a long time. And I don’t blame them. I, myself, don’t want to go. I’d rather be here with them. For always.

But of course, some decisions don’t always have to come from us. Sometimes, some people have to make them for you because they see something brighter on the other end for you.

My readers all know my feelings about the move, so I won’t bore you guys with that.

Anyway, we had a farewell party last Wednesday. It was basically the first time I’ve almost reached the point of drunkenness. And it was bad. Also, I had a lot of friends (although some really disappointed me…) who came and spent time with me on my last (?) party here in Manila and they all made me so happy! But… When we took pictures, I forgot that the memory card’s not inserted! So the pictures were definitely saved in the internal memory of the camera and I don’t have a USB cable for it. Great job.

Then after a few hours, all these rashes started to come out and my whole body felt so itchy! It was mad, so I took one celestamine. The itching went away but the red rashes remained until the following day.

Yesterday, Mark brought John, Marco, and I to this eatery that was located beside our old home. They sell rice congee and pork and tofu (rice congee’s best partner), and they have the best recipe in town. Well I honestly requested that one. Because the last time I ate there was…say 10 or 11 years ago. With my Dad. So I wanted to create another memory in that place, this time with my boys. And the experience was really good! I have definitely forgotten how great tasting their congee and their special mix of soy sauce, vinegar and other stuff. In my head I was like, “I should have asked them to bring me here long ago!”

After that, we went home and started packing. Panic packing was really hard and heart breaking. I was clueless because I didn’t know which ones to bring and which ones to leave! I wanted to bring all my clothes, and all my bags, and all my perfumes, but since we have a limit, I can’t. So I turned my blind eye on and left most of my perfumes, most of my clothes, AND 3/4 OF MY BAG COLLECTION.

They were all like, “You can always buy another this, another that in the States!”. But guys, I collected those things for years and most of them really have sentimental value.

*sob…sob*

But of course, nothing is more heart breaking than having to leave the life you love for the life that’s waiting for you on the other side of the world. I just hope that things will get better and that we’ll get through all the pain this distance will bring us.

Right now, all I have to focus on is how could I grow up a bit more faster. John needs a person bigger than him that he could look up to. And if that bigger person can’t be me, I don’t know who else he could turn to. He’s my responsibility now and I am not sure if I am ready to let this new chapter of our lives materialize already.

Unpopular Opinion Challenge

 

Snagged from Tumblr:

“To be answered and completed with grace and understanding on both sides of opinions expressed: Let your opinions pour out, but you don’t have to be a dick about do you? And you may severely disagree with someone but are you going to unfollow or bug them about it? That said, answer and read at your discretion.”

1. A selection of television programs you do not care for.

I am not really a TV person but there are still a handful of shows I like/love to watch, although I can let a week pass without seeing their latest episodes. But even though I don’t watch TV  a lot, there are still a handful of shows I just don’t care for anymore. Here are some:

• Afternoon soap operas our maid love to watch – I mean seriously, why are these shows even existing? They are a total waste of atoms, molecules, earth, wind and fire. Like, hello? They have the dumbest plots and the dumbest lines. EVER.

Glee

• Glee – sorry Puck, my love, but I just have to include it here. Okay so, why Glee? I used to care for this show a lot, like I would even fight with my brother just so I could own the television for at least an hour. And I did enjoy season 1 a lot. But season 2 generally sucked. And season 3? I don’t even give a damn about what’s happening there. Take this for instance: everyone in Glee club are supposed to be a group of talented yet bullied and “different” kids. But what do they do inside Glee club? They create too much drama around each other. One second, they love each other very much, the next second they’re all willing to rip each others’ faces off. I hate it that there is no synchronization in the show, like the writers aren’t really decided about what to do with the life of the characters there. And what about Tina (played by Jenna Ushkowitz) who has been a part of the Glee Club since day one? When did they ever focus on her story? What else? Hmm… The issues they are all trying to make its viewers aware of? I don’t think they’re doing any service to those issues anymore. They just end up preachy. And you know, I could actually create a separate blog post regarding this one!

2. A selection of musical artists you do not care for.

• I don’t like 50 cent. And any other rappers who only rap/write about their blings, cars, and the numbers of girls with big, fat, fake boobs that they sleep with every night. I believe that’s just total bull.
• I also don’t like a handful of K-pop groups. A lot of them sing and dance stupidly, as if they were forced by their mothers to do that in exchange of a happy meal afterwards. And please, why do they have to include English phrases/sentences in their songs of they cannot even pronounce the words properly? I know their fans can live with their songs sans the English.

3. A selection of celebrities you couldn’t care less about.

• Those reality “stars”. What are their names again?

4. A hobby you “don’t get”.

• Telling people things you are not supposed to tell. Because you know, if your friend told you her secret, it’s supposed to be kept a secret until the both of you dies UNLESS it’s a matter of life and death (i.e. she’s 16 and pregnant, or her doctor found out she was really a he.)

5. A habit you find disgusting.

• Giving people nicknames because you don’t like them or the things they do. ‘Nuff said.

6. Something in school you really liked doing that everyone else bitched over.

• I like it when the teachers just ask us to copy the lessons written on the board. I just like (okay, scratch that — I LOVE this thing) writing a lot of things in my notebook. And, isn’t it better than any other activity in the world?

7. Your favorite household chore.

I love chopping garlic!

• Do I have any? Hmmm… Oh yeah, there’s one! I like chopping/slicing the ingredients my sister is going to need for cooking. It’s not really a chore since I’m not supposed to do that daily. But I still like doing it

8. Popular video games that make you go “meh”.

Can you guess from what game this picture is from?

• Those games that include bombing, killing and getting all bloody and dirty. I hate it when I have to kill somebody just to win a freaking game! (well except if I’m supposed to kill zombies or pests)

9. PC or MAC?

hee hee XD

• PC, I guess. I have never owned a Mac my entire life, but I have used one several times. It was hard to operate at first, unlike PC which is very user-friendly. But Mac seems to be really pretty, you know? So I might go for it once I get a chance.

10. A sport you don’t like for whatever reason.

• Sumo wrestling? I don’t know. I don’t know a lot about this “sport” but I just don’t like the idea of getting all sweaty, and big and heavy, and holding your opponent on all the weird places just to get him out of the round mattress.

11. A sport you really like for whatever reason.

• I am not really the sporty kind. So there.

12. Television programs you love but have gotten shit for liking.

Believe me, I never knew they even had a soundtrack!

• Jersey Shore. Um okay. I know what I said about number 3 but there is always an exemption to the rule right? So yeah, Jersey Shore is ridiculous, disgusting at times, they showcase a lot of very questionable behaviors, with girls trashing themselves for guys and guys being disrespectful to girls but you know what? SO DOES EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS CRAZY SOCIETY AND IT’S NOT NEARLY AS ENTERTAININGLY ABSURD. But these people are really entertaining though sometimes they make me want to punch their faces.

13. Musical artists you love but have gotten shit for liking.

• Luckily, none! I have a freaking awesome taste in music.

14. A hobby you have/find interesting that other people bug you over/make fun of.

• Reading. YOU PEOPLE! Reading doesn’t make me a nerd and even if it does, at least it makes me smarter that you, dimwits.

15. A habit you have that other people bug you over.

• It’s a secret.

16. Something in school you hated doing and it felt like everyone else loved.

• Physical Education. I hate sports. I hate getting all sweaty and sticky. I hate it because everyone else would rather have P.E. classes rather than actual lessons because they can run around and throw balls at each other and get dirty. Then we’d all go back to the classroom after that, right? The classroom is air-conditioned. That means everyone and everything inside will end up smelling awfully bad. Disgusting.

17. The household chore that makes you want to shoot your face off.

• Laundry. I’ve never really washed a week’s worth of clothes yet but if I have a choice, I would never do it. I have standards when it comes to cleanliness, thanks to my OCD-ish sister, so even a good washing machine would not suffice.

18. A selection of video games that that you enjoy that perhaps you shouldn’t.

• Sims. It’s stupid as f*** yet I enjoyed it a lot. I even came to the point where I would waste my four hours playing Sims online.

19. A celebrity crush that that maybe you even don’t understand.

You should have guessed...

• I seriously do not get this one. I don’t understand how? But anyway, I have a lot of crushes and I sometimes go to bed with all of them… Hee hee

20. Free rant on whatever grinds your gears at the moment.

• Stupidity. Oh god. I am very fortunate to live with a wonderful family but I am also not so fortunate for having to deal with a lot of their stupidity. As much as I want to elaborate, I can’t. They will eventually find this blog of mine and read my entries then kill me if I talk bad about them.

So okay, that’s all of it. I guess the point of this challenge is just to pour your heart out and speak about the things you don’t really talk about probably because your opinions are against the mainstream. And my friends, liking things that aren’t mainstream doesn’t make you a stupid hipster. It’s normal. Some people will like what you like, some will not. Deal with it. It’s called individualism.

And please, don’t ask about my NaNoWriMo. I have finally given up on it.
I have given up on NaNoWriMo itself, because I just don’t feel the fun if it at all. The excitement, yes, at first. But the fun? I don’t know. Call me weird but no, it made me feel that writing my novel was a chore and that I had to keep up with it every single night.
Writing may not be my thread just yet, but I am sure I am getting there.
I will finish my novel, with or without Nano.

Leave a comment! I’d love to catch up with you guys once again

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• Unpopular Opinions Meme (lovestryker.wordpress.com)
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• The 10 Most Unpopular People In America (buzzfeed.com)

NaNoWriMo Questions & Answers

Hi! So here I am, online again, productive but not. I’ve been online for the past 4 hours or so, reading others’ blogs and posting comments, telling them what I think.

I was supposed to use the desktop for today to force myself to work on my novel, but probably because of my habit of turning on  the laptop before taking a bath (I go online immediately after that), I used this laptop anyway and promised myself yet again to use the desktop the next day and work on my writing…for real. But I guess I will still have to open this again tomorrow before I go and use the desktop since my PocketPC can’t be read from there, only from this foldable machine. And I still need to get my files compiled in my e-folder in my e-mail so when I use the desktop, I just have to download them all and compile them again in my desktop’s hard drive. Redundant.

So, for some who might be wondering how’s my NaNo going, well… I’d really like to tell that it’s coming along fine, but I won’t because I am not really sure if it is. Since my PocketPC can’t hold up big sized files, I try to keep every document at 15kb the most, that’s why I must have multiple files saved in my Microsoft Office. That means I can only have estimations of my total word count, not unless I open every single file, check their word counts and add them all up. And even if I do so, I still won’t have the utmost total, since I also have files saved in my blog and at Yarny.me, one of the few programs that I use.
So back to the topic, my answer is: no. Generally speaking, my novel is not coming along as well I want it to be. This morning, I was trying my best to hit 1,667 words but because of the medicine I was taking, I felt so drowsy that I needed to take a nap. I was only 233 words behind so I thought what the heck, I can pull these things off by tonight. But as you can guess, I have not touched my story since I woke up after that power-nap, but I surely will, later on when I’m in bed.

My NaNoWrimo

So okay, what else do we have here?
Hmm… Oh. The largest problem yet NaNo has given me. Yes, I know, we’re still about to leave November’s first week but I am already losing interest. I feel like the hype’s all gone, the excitement’s all vanished. I don’t feel creative at all with every chapter I try to write. I still have not “interviewed” my cousin Mhia to get the vital information about how she does her work because I paralleled my hero’s job to hers, since I have only the slightest idea and that is definitely not going to suffice.

So Jess, it’s just the first week of NaNo and you’re already starting to lose interest. Are you planning to back out?
As much as possible, I am determined to finish this project with flying colors. I am still decided to continue fighting for my NaNoWriMo life. Being quite a competitive person, I believe I should win this thing. I know I have the talent and the right amount of imagination, so I know I can do it. It’s just a matter of getting my lazy muse to work… And most importantly, I don’t want to let my friends and family down. I know they don’t expect that much from me but they’re still expecting, right? Aside from their expectations, I also do have my own. If you’ve read my post last November 1 (Happy NaNoWriMo Writing!) you know that I added 500 more words to the NaNo goal which is 500, 000. I know 500 is not that much but for me it already is. That’s already like, one blog post already! So if I fail this challenge, I will be depressed a little, I think. Just like what Michael Jordan (or Wayne Gretzy, the original) said, you miss 100% of the shots you never take. And I don’t want to regret failing NaNo…ever!

L A M E =____=

Don’t you think you’re already taking this way seriously?
I don’t think so. I believe I am taking it serious enough to be able to conquer it. To be honest, one person already told me I was taking NaNo “way too seriously” that’s why I stopped exchanging e-mails with her. Obviously, I took that comment personally. I mean, she was what they consider was a NaNoWriMo vet, and I am a newbie, so I’d be definitely telling her almost all of my concerns, since she offered me her help  in the first place. But I guess she felt overwhelmed by my, let’s say, ten questions. I’m sure I never asked her more than ten questions. So she was like, I think you’re taking this way too seriously. NaNoWriMo is all about the fun of writing, no fuss. You can bother about editing, etc. after November. Well it was her opinion, I respect that. And I also understand what she was trying to say. But I guess she was not able to see (or maybe she has forgotten) that different people view the same things in different ways. So if this novel-writing project is just a little past-time for her, then for some people this could be some sort of contest wherein they could prove themselves for once and for all. Right?

It’s already past your bedtime. Does this mean you blogged her tonight just because you want to talk about her? Like, rant or something?
No. Definitely no. It’s like my disease. If I let my emotions take control, my blogs usually go out of context. I just write whatever I feel about certain things (or people) and when I’m done, I realize that I just bored my ever loyal subscribers with another long rant about my boring life.

Is it really a habit of yours to talk to yourself? Is this Q & A setting a little way to tell people that you like talking to yourself?
Um……..

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