Hello everyone! How’s everything coming along?
I know it has been a long time since I have posted my last blog entry and I apologize. My life has been quite uneventful lately which caused my lack of interest to actually visit my blog and tell you stories. Honestly, the only thing that was sprinkling some glitter on my life was the volunteering stuff I got going on, which I will tell you about later, perhaps in a separate post.
So, I would like to assume that a question like “if you were uninterested to blog lately, what changed your mind that brought you here?” is currently formulating in your mind because I will be answering that just about now: I know some of you have read some lines from my Bio page, so you might have the idea that I am migrating like a bird to America.
Well, okay…it’s not exactly going to be just like how birds migrate because it took us more than a year to complete the process, thousands of dollars to pay the fees, and lots and lots of hard thinking. If we were going to do it just like how the birds do it, my mother would be 12 times happier.
Anyway, in 30 days I am about to go on to a new adventure that shall change everything in my life. Me and my brother (hopefully, our sister can come with us too) will have to leave Manila, Philippines and come to California, USA to live with our mom and her husband. And with this new blog post, and the succeeding ones, I would like to record through words and images the last remaining month that I have to spend with most of the people that I love. This is why this blog entry is titled 1 of 30.
I don’t really recall how many times I have talked about, or even mentioned, my migration to America. It has probably been a lot of times already, and what I have probably talked about before all sounded alike. But even though I have been given so much time to think about it, I don’t think my views and feelings about it have changed. I am still, indeed, torn between being happy and being sad about it.
I am happy about it because finally, after almost 10 years, I can now live with my mother. We have so much time lost between us and I want to replenish our relationship. I want to know more about her and I want her to know more about me too.
I am happy because I know there are big opportunities waiting for me there. The economy’s tough right now, I know, but I trust my intellect and my abilities. There will be more than a single trial out there, all set to hunt me, but I don’t care.
I am happy because my world just got bigger: more streets to explore and more people to meet. I know it is not going to be easy for me to deal with people who grew up accustomed to cultures different than mine, but I don’t mind.
I’m strong enough. I was molded this way.
I am sad about it mainly because I am now 17 and I have definitely built strong and solid relationships with a lot of people here, especially with my family members who will be left here, and because of this migration, I have to leave them all behind and start my life over in another country.
I am sad because my pride is aching. If not only because of this migration, I should be finishing right now my sophomore year in college and I should be a part of the graduating class of 2014. But that cannot be! Instead, I have to enroll myself in a community college somewhere in California, earn myself an Associate Degree while I am working. After I finish college, my batch mates here were so done getting themselves a Baccalaureate Degree and should be busy looking for jobs that will pay them well. While I, on the other hand, have to work my butt off two times harder than the last one, so that I could be able to support myself AND/OR save for my dream of attending a university. Well done.
However, at the end of the day, it’s still going to be me and my brother leaving on a jet plane. And all I can do is condition myself everyday while I am still here so when I get there, I won’t go into shock. So when I get there, I will be my brother’s guide, his aide and his confidante. Because when I get there, I will have to face the challenge not of being in a foreign land, but of being the big sister my brother will definitely need.